Some things take me by surprise- like the overwhelming sadness I’m feeling right now after unexpectedly losing our family cat a few hours ago- her trouble breathing, her last meow, a last yelp and suddenly the last 13 plus years with her keep flashing before my eyes. I had gotten her specifically so my young family could share more of our love. She was a ‘saved’ cat— a cat small for her age due to neglect and abuse that was taken in by my sister-in-law in her shelter in Pennsylvania. We went for an overnight visit there at some time and I, always toying with the idea of getting a pet, fell in love with this little shy grey cat. She kept herself away from the other cats. She was fearful of crumpling noises, strangers and any attention. For some reason I felt drawn to her. I told my sister-in-law that I wanted her and within a few weeks, my brother-in-law did a loving act of kindness and drove her all the way to Rhode Island.  Bebe, her name that we decided to keep, ran out of the carrier as soon as she could and hid behind the clothes dryer. No amount of coaxing could get her to come out.  I called my sister-in-law in a panic. She calmed me and told me not to worry—“At some point she’ll get hungry and come out.”  So we left food out for her and we all tried to keep a lid on the excitement of having a new family member. She took her time to come out.  In fact so long, that we all went to bed without seeing her come out from behind the dryer.  We had to explain to the girls that it would take time for Bebe to adjust to her new home and that everything would be ok.  We settled into our beds hoping that the next day we’d get to actually play with her.  It wasn’t long though before I felt a gentle thud near my feet on the bed.  At first I was startled. It was dark after all and I was in my first sleep.  I woke up to see Bebe on the bed crawling towards us, exploring with her nose close to the sheets.  That night she slept near our feet on the bed something I never imagined I would let an animal do.  And now, that is what I will miss the most. And her welcome pose at the top of the stairs. And her royal pose near the window sill.  And the way she stuck with us through all the ups and downs showing us that love is a dynamic force.  Good to know that she is now resting in peace.

nbcparksandrec:

Today, Ron is feeling perplexed.

  1. Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark II
  2. Aperture: f/5.6
  3. Exposure: 1/125th
  4. Focal Length: 150mm

Wildfire (Interlude) (feat. Frank Ocean)
John Mayer, Paradise Valley

Only a nascent trying to harness huge fire
Out on the beach in the darkness starting bonfire
So gorgeous, a man might cry
Burning trees in the basement, start a cool fire
Feel my heartbeat racing, baby you’re on fire
So gorgeous, a man might cry
Back in Paris you told me you were suicidal
It’s not a vacation if I lose you to the Eiffel
You’re gorgeous but you can’t fly
A hidden admirer sent me roses white as fire
We took our handfuls it was war, flower fighter
Wildfire
Wildfire
Wildfire
Wildfire

I’ve had this homemade sign up in my different classrooms for the past so many years.  Every so often I re-read it, each time happily surprised by its potent message.

theimpossiblecool:

“Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.” 

Langston Hughes.

A friend re-posted this from Just Mike the Poet today on Instagram. It grabbed my heart right away.  This is one for me to meditate on not because I struggle to forgive but because the pain of the damage is sometimes unbearable. I so desperately want to let go of it.

1

"Darling, I’m here for you."

When you love someone, the best you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?

You look into their eyes and you say, “Darling, you know something? I’m here for you.”

You offer him or her your presence.

You are not preoccupied with the past or the future; you are there for your beloved.

2

"Darling, I know you are there and I am so happy."

Because you are fully there, you recognize the presence of your beloved as something very precious.

You embrace your beloved with mindfulness. And he or she will bloom like a flower.

To be loved means to be recognized as existing.

3

When your beloved one is suffering:

"Darling, I know you’re suffering. That is why I am here for you.”

Before you do something to help, your presence already can bring some relief.

4

This one is a little bit more difficult. It is when you suffer and you believe that your suffering has been caused by your beloved.

If someone else had done the same wrong to you, you would have suffered less.

But this is the person you love the most, so you suffer deeply. You prefer to go to your room and close the door and suffer alone.

You are hurt. And you want to punish him or her for having made you suffer.

The mantra is to overcome that: "Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice. Please help me."

You go to him, you go to her, and practice that.

And if you can bring yourself to say that mantra, you suffer less right away. Because you do not have that obstacle standing between you and the other person.

"And when I have been trying my best to look deeply, to see whether this suffering comes from my wrong perception and I might be able to transform it, but in this case I cannot transform it, you should help me, darling. You should tell me why you have done such a thing to me, said such a thing to me." In that way, you have expressed your trust, your confidence. You don’t want to punish anymore. And that is why you suffer less right away.

Edited from interview with Oprah Winfrey

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Oprah-Talks-to-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/7 

yamilybaez:

Report Back

Go—-follow your heart——listen to your mind——glide with pride

and

let your feet and arms be lifted by air,

rescued by ground, buoyed by water.

Go.

But please,

report back.

2.19.2013

poema original de yyb

Inspired by and for my daughters..T and A.

Reverberation

How can something so empty create such a strong thud

that echoes relentlessly, quickly, desperately

seemingly trying to get somewhere

but then slowing to a rhythm that turns unpredictableyetmorepowerfulbecausenow

it

can

surprise

you.

It can steal your breath.

It can stop your heart.

It can syphon tears from where you thought there weren’t anymore.

The emptiness of love gone.  (Where did it go?)

The emptiness of aloneness.  (Where did everyone go?)

The cave you have become,

Hollowed out by having given so much

Grooved by an endless flow of tears

Darkened because of sensitivity to light.

The heaviness of space incomprehensible.

The reverberation of emptiness

unbearable.

 

Original Poem by  Yamil Y. Baez

August 21, 2013

"Disappointment has a name- it’s heartbreak."
— Heartbreak Warfare, JM song
"“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end.”
― Gilda Radner"

Goodreads Quote of the Day June 28, 2013:

June 28, 1946: Gilda Radner was part of the original cast of Saturday Night Live and wrote a popular autobiography, It’s Always Something. She was born in Detroit, Michigan, 67 years ago today.

Gilda is an SNL icon who died too soon from ovarian cancer. I was too young to be a fan of her comedy while she was at the height of her career but one thing I could appreciate was how she loved her frizzy hair- I could definitely identify with that!